Symptoms
by Attenia
Summary: Cas is sure he's cursed, but when he shows Sam a list of his symptoms, Sam tells him he's not cursed - he's in love. The question is, what is Cas supposed to do about it?


"Cas? What are you doing?"

Cas leapt away from the Impala, banging his head on the roof as he went. "Nothing."

"What did you lose?" Sam insisted. "I can help you look."

"I did not lose anything."

"Right. You've just been searching the car, all of our bags, and every motel we've been in for weeks, for fun."

This seemed implausible to Cas, but if Sam thought it a good reason, who was he to deny an excuse? "That is correct."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Sarcasm, Cas, we've discussed this. Seriously, what are you searching for? Do I need to get Dean?"

"No!" Cas answered, a little too quickly. "Do not get Dean."

"Then spit it out."

"Spit… what out?"

"What are you searching for, Cas?"

Cas sighed. Perhaps it was time he asked for help. Maybe he was just letting his symptoms get the better of him. "Hex bags," he admitted.

"Why? Do you reckon you've been cursed?"

"I am sure I have."

"Well damn, why didn't you say something? I'll grab Dean and –"

"I do not need Dean's help, or yours! I have it under control."

Sam was frowning at him, and Cas resisted the urge to disappear. He knew that would only intensify the interrogation when he came back, and he always came back, eventually; he couldn't help himself.

"What is the curse?"

"I… I do not wish to talk about it."

"Hello, is that Cas in there? You haven't been body-switched with Dean or something?"

"No, I do not believe that I have."

"Then just tell me, Cas. I mean it, or I'm calling Dean."

Defeated, Cas pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket. "I have been keeping a list of my symptoms." He hesitated, not wanting to give it over, but Sam snatched it out of his hand. Cas watched as the hunter's eyes moved down the paper. He remembered exactly what it said – he'd been going over it for weeks.

**Symptoms**

**When in Dean's presence**

Inertia – I do not want the moment to change at all, ever.

Inability to stop looking at him.

**When Dean smiles**

Small animals flying around in my internal organs.

Almost overpowering urge to touch his lips.

**When Dean is in danger**

Irrational fear for him that clouds my judgement and thus my ability to react to the situation.

The urge to overreact badly – such as smiting a man's head off after he shoved Dean in a bar.

**When I find out Dean is safe after being in danger**

Unnaturally intensified relief, sometimes enough that I am unable to support my own weight and need to find a chair.

Anger at Dean if I feel he has put himself in harm's way unnecessarily.

**General**

Irrational fear of others finding out about my symptoms, particularly Dean.

Symptoms are intensifying with time.

When Sam finished reading the list, his expression was one Cas could not quite read. "You're not cursed, Cas."

"I am certainly cursed. Look at those symptoms!"

"They aren't symptoms of being cursed. They're symptoms of being in love."

Cas mulled this over for a few minutes. Being in love. He loved Sam and Dean, he knew that. But being _in love_? It was something humans often described, but not something he'd ever experienced.

"Are you sure?"

"Pretty sure, yeah. It's been really obvious for a while, to be honest. The fact that even you're noticing it means you have it bad."

"Have it… bad?"

"Never mind. Basically, you're in love with Dean."

"Oh… Well how do I cure it?"

Sam threw his hands up. "This isn't a curse, Cas! You don't cure it."

"But… I'm an angel. I can't be in love with a mortal."

"Well, you are, so tough shit."

Cas didn't even question the expression, too lost in thought. "If I can't cure it, what should I do?"

"Well, I'd suggest going in there and kissing Dean."

The irrational fear was back, and back strongly. "I can't."

"Yes, you can. Dean is too much of an idiot to kiss you first, so you'll have to do it. Are you telling me you don't want to?"

"No, that is not what I am telling you." In fact, the idea was very appealing, but it also filled Cas with fear. Sam gave him a stern look, and Cas tried to pull himself together. He was an angel of the Lord; cowardice was not acceptable behavior.

Cas took his paper back from Sam, carefully folding it up and putting it in his pocket. "Then I will kiss Dean."

"Great! I'll get myself a separate room for the night. Enjoy!" Sam winked at him.

Cas didn't really understand that either, but he was too focused on what he had to do to try to figure it out. He'd seen humans kiss before, but he'd never really paid much attention to it. He wasn't really sure what to do, other than to press his lips against Dean's.

The door slammed open as Cas strode in. Dean had been lying on one of the beds, but leapt up, reaching for his knife.

"Cas! What is it?"

Cas didn't respond, but walked right over to Dean, knocking the knife out of his hand. Dean stumbled back, and Cas took the hunter's face in his hands, as he'd seen humans do when kissing. Hoping he was doing it right, he pressed his lips to Dean's, holding them there for several seconds.

He pulled away, trying to control his frantically beating heart as he watched Dean nervously.

"Did… did you just kiss me, Cas?"

"Yes. Did I do it right?"

Dean chuckled. "Not really."

Disappointment flooded Cas.

"So I guess I'll just have to teach you how to do it. Come here."

Dean grabbed Cas' coat and yanked him onto the bed. The two of them fell awkwardly with Cas on top of Dean.

The next thing he knew, Dean was kissing him, and Cas realized he'd never truly understood what a kiss was. His vessel was reacting without his permission as he groaned and started kissing back. He had no idea what he was doing, but Dean was making encouraging noises, so he continued.

When the hunter opened his mouth, Cas hesitantly did the same, and their tongues were dancing together.

He lost track of time, and thought only of the way his and Dean's bodies were moving together. Cas realized that his penis was becoming enlarged and stiff. Ah, he knew about this, it was a sign of arousal. He found himself grinding down onto Dean, who groaned and bucked up, bringing his own erection into contact with Cas'.

Cas knew Dean and was therefore surprised when the hunter pulled away, gently moving him so that they were lying side by side.

"Dean? Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing is wrong." Dean gave him a giddy grin.

Cas supposed this would be as good a time as any to mention it. "I am in love with you."

Dean made an odd choking noise. "Well, just go right ahead and lay all your cards on the table."

"I have no cards, Dean. I do have a paper list, if that helps?"

Cas handed Dean the list. It only took the hunter a few minutes to read, and when he finished, Dean was laughing. "Oh, Cas, this is amazing! I'm going to frame it and hang it up in the Impala."

"I… I do not think I would like that."

"Ah, never change, Cas."

Cas thought that their intimacy would resume at this point, but Dean simply pulled him close. Cas believed it was called cuddling, but he was confused.

"I thought… You usually do not stop until you have had intercourse with whoever has caught your eye."

"You didn't just catch my eye, Cas – you're not just some mindless lay, I don't want that, not with you. I – I'm in love with you too, Cas. I have been for a while. Crap, I'm not good at this stuff… I mean – I know this is all new for you. We can go at whatever pace –"

Cas acted on instinct and kissed Dean once more. "I think we should stop talking now. There are more productive things for our tongues to be occupied with at present."

"Remind me to teach you how to do proper dirty talk," Dean murmured, leaning into the kiss.

Cas didn't respond verbally, too busy finding new and interesting things to do with his tongue in Dean's mouth. He found himself glad that Sam had a separate room. Cas had a feeling that he would be learning a lot of new things from Dean tonight.


End file.
